I can’t seem to win…

I’ve never been good at getting along with people, it seems that my whole life I struggled to get people to like me. I’ve never seemed to know the right way to behave, how much and when to talk etc, or never known the right things to say.

It seems I still don’t know what to say and when, which topics are ok to discuss and I don’t seem to know enough about the outside world to be able to have enough different topics to discuss with anyone. I deliberately stopped watching news on tv a few years ago as I found all the reports about crime and accidents depressing.

There was too much news about how badly people were behaving against one another and too much blood and death going on in the world. Not watching enough tv can also be a bad thing also though as you also miss out on all the general and good news. It can then be hard to know what to talk about with people, as you then dont know the general world news.

I can’t get along with my husband much as we just don’t have hardly any interests etc in common, so we don’t have much topics we can discuss with each other. If I mention any of my personal hobbies like art or craft too much he thinks I’m doing too much hobbies and he thinks I’m neglecting the house duties etc. If I talk too much about my parents or other relatives too much he thinks I care too much about them and then he thinks it means that I care more about my other relatives more then him or our son. I can never seem to know the limits of when and how much to do anything in order to make anyone happy with me.

That’s all I know to talk about though, I start talking to him more about the house and what daily tasks I have completed for that day thinking that will make him happier talking to me, but then he says I don’t need to list him all I’ve done that day etc. I try to talk to him about our son more, about what we do during the day etc but then he usually always finds something to tell me off about as I always manage to forget something I should have done with our son etc. So then I tend to always feel that I am better off not to talk too much about our son as I always manage to get myself told off because I manage my time with our son so badly.

If  I talk to my Mum or any of my friends or relatives more then a few times a week and my husband know’s about it he tells me off again that he thinks I care more about my parents then I do about him and our son. If I see anyone more then a few times a month, again my husband blames me for caring more about other’s then I care about him and our son.

Half the time I definitely feel like I just don’t know what I’m doing in my attempts to communicate with people, I just know how to get along with people…

It’s not a nice feeling, I get too lonely if I void communicating with people too much, yet I also end up regretting most of my efforts to try to communicate with people as I just can’t seem to get along with anyone for more then five minutes. Then I end up questioning who I am and whether I’m actually a good person or not, I feel like I must be one of the worst people if I can’t manage to have any good normal conversations with anyone…

I just can’t ever seem able to get along with anyone and it makes me more sad and depressed…

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s